It's round about time for a new blog post, methinks. Welp, here goes nothing.
So, I'm not saying that I hate Mardi Gras. But I'm also not not saying that I hate Mardi Gras.
But I kind of hate Mardi Gras. Now wait just a hot second before you start stoning me in the streets! I think if you're honest with yourselves you will be forced to admit that MG hasn't really been fun since high school. Back then, french kissing relative strangers, smoking Marlboro Reds, and drinking straight 151 from a coke bottle were pretty badass things to do. Especially on public street corners. We were teenagers. Bless our hearts. Those were simpler times...And, OK, maybe if my MG this year had been akin to any of that, it would've been more fun (Aside from the kissing strangers part, because...gross). Sadly, I basically worked the duration of MG, back and forth between two bars, one of which was right in the middle of the French Quarter (Which is obviously Mecca for douchebags everywhere during Carnival season), and let me just tell you, all work and bad tips makes Marisa aggressively annoyed. Also, very, very tired and curmudgeonly. Have I mentioned how much people just collectively suck? I mean, get it together, for chrissake.
(Transition) WITH THE EXCEPTION OF EVERYONE EVER IN AN 80s HAIR BAND. Well, they probably suck now, but honestly I can watch me some 80s music videos anytime. This is a recent development, so let me attempt to explain my latest flight of lunacy. This week during 45tchoup's trivia night, the most blessedly awesome 80s song pretty much ever was played between rounds, and consequently lodged itself into the deepest crevices of my mind, to the point where I have spent the last two days humming it out loud morning, noon, and night without even realizing it. So, yesterday I decided to do a youtube search for the music video, and that was hands down the absolute best decision I have ever made. Like, literally ever (I wish I were exaggerating right now, but you know that episode of Friends where Rachel agrees to let Monica make ALL of her decisions for her? If I had AN single friend who wasn't just as much of a disaster area as I am, that's exactly what I would hire them to do. Alas...youth.) (That's not entirely true. My Best Friend is a surprisingly together lady, but I don't think she would touch that with a ten foot pole. If there is any job with more stress and less payoff than my personal life, I've never heard of it.) But I digress. The song in question is called Can't Live Without Your Love and it is by Nelson. Nelson consists of two "men" (we use that term loosely around these parts under the best of circumstances. With the exception of Lee Pace, because that, my friends, is a Man.) with long, flowing golden locks. These two flaxen-haired beauties are named Gunnar and Matthew Nelson (hence, the name of the band, which I assume were the Hanson brothers' earliest influence), and just watch the video now please, because...I can't even talk about it.
Yeah. I'm not saying that video is the highlight of my every waking hour. But I'm also not not saying that. If you can't admit that that is the best thing you've ever seen, you don't deserve the gifts of sight OR hearing. And you're just plain wrong, and your parents likely don't even love you, and you're probably adopted and a redhead. You're just horrible.
Ok, I'm a little out of steam now. I have to go watch that video again. Come on, try to watch that and not crack a smile, I dare you.
I am just so sorry right now. If you need me, I'll be snorting cocaine off a public toilet seat with Gunnar Nelson. Or just googling him. Yea, I said it.
